Bed, Wed or Dead?
by QueenOfStalkers
Summary: Peter, Tobias, Tris, Christina, Will, Eric, Zeke, Uriah, Marlene and Lynn join up for a big game of Bed, Wed or Dead! Shoes will be thrown and smacks given in this funny tale of who would you sleep with, who would you marry and who would you kill? Things get intense and with intensity we have Uriah making bad jokes. (Story better than summary!) Rated T for obvious reasons!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey I have to give out credit to Mandi231 for the amazing idea for this story! She wrote one for the Percy Jackson fandom so if you like that check it out and die laughing! Seriously I woke up my whole family with that! XD So without further a do and I don't own crap here we go!**

**Tris' POV**

We were all sitting in Zeke's apartment. There was Uriah, Lynn, Marlene, Eric, Peter, Christina, Will, Tobias, me and of course Zeke. We were all bored out of our minds. That was until Uriah stood up.

"Let's play Bed, Wed or Dead!" He announced loudly. We all stared at him.

"Excuse me?" Lynn said cocking an eyebrow.

"It's where you are given 3 people then you have to pick who you'd marry, who you'd sleep with and who'd you kill!" Uriah told her happily. "It'll be fun-nay!"

"It sounds mortifying." Will says shaking his head.

"Well, since it's my apartment I say we play it or you leave!" Zeke said smiling broadly. We all groaned but none of us said anything. "I'll start us off today! Tris! Bed, wed or dead Four, Eric, Peter." Zeke smiled evilly.

I groaned. Obviously wed Tobias, now bed and dead. Very hard choice I wouldn't mind killing either of them and had no intention of sleeping with either. Eric was pretty hot, but then again so was Peter. Ug! What was I even thinking! Peter tried to kill me, Eric is a sadistic bastard. Then again Peter had made amends, we still weren't best buds but we didn't hate each other and hung out with us on numerous occasions. Still Eric was really hot.

"You gonna answer or are we gonna wait all night?" Peter asked raising an eyebrow. I groaned again.

"Wed Four, bed Peter kill Eric." I buried my face behind Tobias' back who was shuddering with chuckles.

"Hey! I'm not that bad!" Eric complained. The whole group snickered.

"Tris! you've gotta choose who goes next!" Uriah announced and I glared at him.

"Oh really? Lynn, me, Marlene." I laughed evilly and his bronzed skinned paled a bit.

"Excuse me?" He mumbled. I laughed again and nodded eagerly. We waited for a minute or so. "Bed Marlene, wed Tris and kill Lynn." Lynn glared at him, Marlene blushed and I felt Tobias stiffen next to me.

"You better watch it Uriah." He said deadly serious.

"Ay! I'm just playin the game dude! Don't take offense. I like Tris too much to kill her. I knew Lynn will forgive me, I'm the brother she always needed!" Lynn punched Uriah in the arm, hard. "Ow! Sis packs a punch." Uriah muttered then turned and looked at Peter. "Peter! Shauna, Lauren, Marlene!"

"Shauna and Lauren aren't even here..." Peter says looking confused.

"They don't have to be!" Lynn supplies. Peter thinks for a brief moment.

"Bed Lauren, wed Marlene, and kill Shauna. That girl hates me!" Peter says and looking around the room.

"Seriously Lauren? Why the heck would you choose her for that?" Zeke said.

"We all know you'd of picked Shauna for bed Zeke. I have no idea what you see in her. But Lauren, dude she is hot." Peter says running his fingers through his hair. Uriah, Zeke, Eric and Tobias give him a look. "What? He asked.

"Ummm whatever dude. You've go some weird tastes that's all." Eric mutters. Peter shakes his head and turns towards Tobias.

"I'm gonna make this hell for you! Christina, Marlene, Lynn." Peter smiled evilly. "AH AH AH!" Then he laughed evilly.

"How can I answer this and not have any of them kill me? Wait how can I answer this without Tris killing me?" Tobias whined.

"You know Four, I never saw you as a whiner. You HAVE to answer so hop to it." Lynn said grinning wickedly. Tobias put his face in his hands.

"Umm. DON'T HATE ME! Wed Marlene, bed Christina and kill Lynn." Tobias says quickly I smack him for good measure.

"This is the second time some one has killed me! Am I the friend everyone secretly hates? You know the one. I thought it was Peter..." Lynn says exasperated.

"Well it was either wed you or Marlene and Marlene is nicer!" Tobias says and I smack him again.

"So, Christina was going to be bed no matter what?" Will says shooting him a glare.

"Um- I - er.." Tobias put his head in his hands realizing there was no way to salvage the situation. "Eric, bed, wed or dead. Tris, Christina, Lynn." Eric's eyes widened and I snickered. Eric didn't speak for a minute or so, probably thinking how best not to get himself killed.

"Er... Wed Lynn, bed Christina, kill Tris. IT WAS THE ONLY WAAYYYY!" Eric choked out then grabbed a pillow to hide behind. Christina threw her shoe at him, Lynn giggled kind of girlyly. I went over kicked him in the shin then went back to my spot beside Tobias.

"Time to make some ones life hell!" Eric said peeking out from behind his pillow of protection. Christina hurled another shoe at him and he ducked back down. "Zeke, for you Peter, Four, Uriah!"

"DUDE URIAH IS MY BROTHER!" Zeke yelled. We all laughed even Uriah. "AND They're all guys!"

"Dude just kill me and think long and hard about the others!" Uriah said still laughing. Zeke groaned and put his face in his hands.

"Eric you are a bastard." Zeke muttered. "Fine, this is sooo wrong. Kill Uriah, wed Peter and bed Four." Everyone burst out laughing and Zeke's face was bright red. "SHUT UP!" Zeke whined. When we finally calmed down it was time for Zeke to pick his next victim.

"Christina, bed, wed or dead, Uriah, Will, Four!" Zeke said grinning. Christina groaned and it was time for some serious thinking.

**Woo! Cliff hanger! See you tomorrow on Bed wed or dead! Leave suggestions for bed, wed or deads in a review and I might use them in future chapters!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yo guys! Wazzup! We are going to add in Lauren, Shauna and Al into the mix! YAY! lol. Thanks for all the review love you my platypuses. Also yesterday I got my hair dyed aqua blue! SO LEGIT!**

**Christina's POV**

I didn't groan or complain, I just thought. Four was by far the hottest out of all of them so bed him. Uriah and Will, obviously marry will and kill Uriah. He was being a prick today. Four was hot, Will was my boyfriend so they were the obvious choices, Uriah was being a prick so OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

"Bed Four, wed Will, kill Uriah! Don't you say a word Uriah Jennings, you are being a prick and had it coming." I say quickly. Uriah scowls, Four laughs along with Will.

Just then a loud knock calls out. "I'LL GET IT!" Marlene bellows. She hopped up and answered the door. She came back with Shauna, Lauren and Al!

"Wazzup!" Al said and he got glares. No one liked him period the end. He was an ass hole who deserved to die. "Okayyy then." Al sat down next to Tris who hopped into Four's lap. Tobias glared at him and put a protective arm around Tris' waist. They were so perfect for each other is was shocking.

"Shauna's turn! Zeke, Four and Al!" I say giggling like a 12 year old. Shauna didn't miss a beat.

"EASY! Wed Zeke, obviously, bed Four, have you seen him? And kill Al." Shauna said sweetly and with a wide grin on her face. I began thinking she was a little cucu.

"Hey! You didn't have to even think about killing me?" Complained Al.

"I just like Zeke and Four better than you, nothing personal." Shauna said with a broad grin. "Lauren you are my next victim!"

"Oh no, I like my life..." Lauren mutters.

"Sorry, oh wait I'm not!" Shauna howls in malicious laughter. We all kinda went O.O "Al, Eric, Max." Shauna continued her evil rampage.

"Oh my god... Max is like 40! Ew!" Lauren cringes.

"You have to answer Lauren. Dems' da' rules." Uriah said snickering. Lauren throws a pillow at him. "HEY!" Lauren thinks for a minute.

"Kill Max, marry Al and bed Eric." Lauren shuddered. "Shauna you are a bitch. That was awful."

"I know I am a bitch!" Shauna said happily. Geez that girl was strange.

"Erm..., Al, bed wed or dead, Lynn, Marlene, and Johanna Raise!" Lauren said giving him a glare. He wasn't any of our friends, we kept Eric and Peter around because they weren't bad people once you got past their sadistic natures. Al paled considerably.

"Excuse me?" He muttered. Lauren just nodded continuing her glare. Al thought for a few minutes. "Kill Lynn," Lynn exploded.

"WHAT! AGAIN THIS IS LIKE THE KABILLIONTH TIME SOMEONE HAS KILLED ME!" Lynn yelled crossly.

"sorry... It's just Johanna is nice and friendly so wed her and bed Marlene. Because Marlene is really pretty." Al said and then groaned.

"Watch what you say dude." Uriah muttered and moved a little closer to Marlene, who was blushing a bit.

"Moving along." I prompted.

"Will, your choices are Christina, Tris and Shauna." Al said and we all directed our attention to him.

"Answer very carefully Will."I tell him smirking. Will's face paled a bit.

"What did I do to deserve this?" Will asked softly. "Well obviously wed Christina." He looked over at me and I gave him an approving nod. "Now to the hard part." Will paused for a moment. "I'd have to say bed Tris and kill Shauna. But only because I've known Tris longer and Shauna is really scary." Will then whimpered behind me. Four's grip on Tris' waist tightened a bit.

"Okay Will time to choose the next victim on BED, WED OR DEAD!" Uriah said in his best sports announcer's voice. He got a laugh out of everyone except Will who was still cowering behind me.

"WIll you are safe to come out now you know." I tell him and then flash Shauna a look. The moment my boyfriend poke his head out Shauna chucked a pillow at him.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS SAFE!" Will complained from behind me.

"We've gotta move this game along, this time it is actually safe to come out." I tell my ridiculous lover. He slowly poke his head out then straightens.

"Peter's turn! Your options are Uriah, Four and Eric!" Will said loudly and laughing. Peter shot him a glare and everyone laughed.

Peter was quiet for a while then finally made up his mind. "If I was a female and was forced upon this question I'd wed Uriah, bed Four and kill Eric."

"You seem awfully sure of your answers." Zeke said grinning widely. Peter just smirked and shook his head. Being a sensible boy he didn't take the bait Zeke was dangling over his head.

"Let's move on to... Lynn! Your choices are Uriah, Marlene, Four." Peter said turning everyone's attention to her.

"What." was all she said.

"Uriah, Marlene, Four. Go!" Peter answered. Lynn pondered for a moment.

"Okay wed Marlene, kill Uriah, bed Four." Lynn said confidently. "I can't kill Marlene she is my best friend and Uriah, you are a prick so buh bye. And we all know Four is hotness so yeah." Lynn shrugged.

"That is like the 4th time I've been bedded! Am I not good enough to marry?" Four complained. I laughed along with the rest of the group including Tris who had set her head on his shoulder.

"Why does everyone keep killing me?" Uriah asked, seriously confused.

"Like they keep saying Uri, you're a prick. But we'd all miss you." Marlene told him. We all nodded seriously.

"Time to pick the next person! Tris turn again! Um, let's make this difficult. Peter, Al, Eric." Lynn said. Tris glared at her.

"I've already had Peter and Eric as choices before." Tris growled.

"To bad!" Lynn cackled evilly.

**See you guys tomorrow! Next chapter will be in Tris POV bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this is a bit late! I was grounded o.o As promised Tris' POV. And if you actually read my ramblings I have something to say. Thank you to all my reviewers everytime I see a new review I do a little inside dance. All the nice things you've guys have posted they always make my day. I seriously have you guys to thank for the upping in my writing. You guys make me believe I actually can write well. I still have it in my head that I am god awful but, you guys keep telling me otherwise. It is amazing that you guys love my story so much! You all hold a special place in my heart, thank you.**

**Tris' POV**

Peter, Eric and AL?! Well I knew I was going to kill Al. He had assaulted me 2 more times after the Chasm incident. Both times I kicked his ass, but still he was a major jerk. He never did apologize for any of those incidents. After assaulting me didn't work he began trying to spread rumors about Tobias cheating on me, as if. Al seriously couldn't get it through his head that I hated him.

Then I had to think who to bed and wed... This was HARD! Both Peter and Eric were major twits and majorly annoying and both would get big heads either way. I decided thinking through this wasn't the best idea.

"Kill Al, and eni meeni miiineee mo, catch a tiger by it's toe..." I went on like that for about 2 minutes before Christina interrupted me.

"STOP PLAYING ENI MEENI AND PICK ALL READY!" She exclaimed. I scowled.

"My mother told me to pick the very best one, and you," I pointed at Eric, "Are" then Peter, "Not," Eric, "it!" I landed on Peter.

"Marry Eric, bed Peter," I shuddered. "And kill Al." Al scowled and both Eric and Peter wore self dignified smirks. "Don't get big heads either of you." I tell them. They both continue smirking in an aura of self indulgence. **(I just took a big vocabulary quiz soooo yeah. I am using my vocab here I gots vocab on the brain!) **

"Yeah sure, you just know I'm freaking hot." Peter said I went over smacked him upside the head and sat back down. I felt Tobias kiss my cheek.

"Okay moving right along! Marlene, bed wed or dead Max, Peter and Lynn!" I cackle evilly and Tobias leans away. Marlene goes red in the face.

"Haven't we been over this, Max is like 40! Lynn's a girl and Peter might be a bigger prick than Uriah." Marlene mummers.

"Not possible. I AM the biggest prick in Dauntless it's unanimous, Peter is in second." Uriah proclaims and Marlene smacks him. "OW! Why is everyone hitting me today?"

"Like you said you're being a prick." Lauren tells him and gets nods all round. Uriah just shakes his head. Marlene doesn't say a word.

"Marlene ya gonna pick or not?" Zeke asks giving her a questioning look. Marlene groans.

"Fine. Kill Max, marry Lynn and bed Peter." Marlene buries her face into her hands. Peter whoops and laughs.

"Twice in a row!" Peter exclaims and Christina throws her shoe at him.

"Sit down you twit!" I shout at him, he glares at me but listens. I turn to Marlene. "You're turn to choose."

"Okay, Peter since you are so high and mighty why don't you have a turn! Shauna, Lynn, Tris go!" Marlene said glaring at him.

"Really? Why did you pick the 3 hardest choices. I will be hit with shoes with any choice." Peter complains. I throw my shoe at him. Marlene giggles. "SEE THE SHOE THROWING HAS BEGUN!" I burst out laughing along with the rest of the group. When we finally regain our composure we turn to him.

"Well are you going to choose or what?" Will asked. We all stared at him. Lynn was armed with a pillow, ready to smack him with it. Peter groaned.

"Why me?" He asked to no one in particular.

"Because, as the word of the evening says, you are a twit." Lynn told him, she got laughs all round. Lauren and Shauna were nudging each other and making gestures at Peter. My guess? Planning how to attack him once he answered. Peter didn't speak for a while.

"ANSWER ALREADY I NEED AN ANSWER!" Zeke complained. Peter turned to him and rolled his eyes.

"Fine! Wed Tris, because she is the least likely to kill me, and bed Lynn only because I really don't like Shauna." Peter put his hands around his head right before Lauren and Shauna began repeatedly attacking him with dangerous, deadly... pillows.

"TAKE THIS!" Lauren yelled and hit him hard on the back.

"AND THIS!" Shauna screamed hitting him over the head.

The two went back in forth until they got tired and sat on him.

"Ow! Gettoff me!" Peter exclaimed muffled by the carpet. Shauna turned to Lauren.

"Should we get off him?" Shauna asked Lauren. Lauren shrugged.

"Nah, even though his spine is incredibly bony lets stay." Lauren suggested. Shauna nodded and smacked his head.

"Peter! Pick the next person!" She yelled into his ear.

"No need to yell." Peter muttered. "Fine Will, your choices are Four, Zeke, Uriah." Peter said and tried to laugh but gave up because of the heavy weight on his back. Will went bright red.

"Dude really?" Will murmurd.

"Yeah you heard him." Uriah told him. He was cracking up, he was doing his best to hold himself together and not burst out laughing.

Will groaned and pressed his face into the carpet. Al snickered a little but was then bombarded with glares and cut it out.

When Will finally picked up his face from the fun time with the carpet he proclaimed. "Zeke your carpet smells like butt." Zeke rolled his eyes and we continued staring at Will awaiting his answer.

"I choose, and please don't hate me, wed Uriah, bed Four and kill Zeke." Will moaned again and placed his face back into the butt smelling carpet. Uriah was rolling on the floor, cracking up. The kid literally had tears streaming down his face.

"You are having to much fun with this dude." Zeke told him and kicked him softly. Uriah stopped and pulled himself together.

"Again?" Was all Tobias said. I laughed softly and moved onto his lap. Will looked up and glared at us all.

"Four, your turn. Tori, Natalie Prior, and Jeanine Matthews." Will says smirking. Tobias pales.

"Excuse me? You put Tris' mom as a choice... Dude... Her mom..." Tobias shuddered a bit. "And Jeanine Matthews, seriously?" Tobias shuddered again. Uriah was on the floor again along with pretty much everyone else.

"Man..." Uriah said gasping. "You..." another gasp. "Should..." gasp "totally" gasp "see your face" big gasp. Uriah resumed writhing around. I stopped laughing long enough to see my boyfriend's face which was a vibrant shade of red.

It just made me laugh harder.

**Sort one I know, I've been grounded so I couldn't update. I don't want to bore you with the story but here it goes anyway! I was just sitting at my computer when my brother comes in demanding to use it. It is my computer, literally, my personal laptop. I have my name in stickers on it and everything! He demands to use it. I ask why and he says to check stuff. I tell him no and to GTFO of my bedroom. He says no and grabs my computer. He walks away. I scream at him to stop and take my computer back. I then proceed to smack him. He then goes crying off to mother saying I hit him for no reason. I was grounded. AND I HAD TO LET HIM USE MY COMPUTER! HE DOWNLOADED FREAKING ROBLOX ONTO IT! Mom said because his computer was broken I HAD to let him use it for a while. I am sooo mad... grrrr.**


	4. CHAPTER 4! OMG!

**Erg this is waaaaaaaay late. Sorry. I kept procrastinating sowwy. XD Thank you to all my reviewers you mean the world to me!**

**Tobias' POV**

I began thinking who would cause me the least amount of mental trauma. I'd marry Natalie because she is a generally nice person. I'd have to kill Jeanine because she is a monstrous bitch who deserved to die. That meant I was stuck for bedding Tori. I shuddered again, Tori was like my mom... and Natalie was my girlfriend's mother... ewwww... I felt a shiver run down my spine. I looked at Tris who was laughing at me.

"You feel no sympathy for me do you?" I asked her. She just nodded and continued laughing. I rolled my eyes. I pondered a moment more and groaned.

"Why did you do this to me?" I complained. Tris calmed down a bit and set her head on my shoulder. Still laughing she gasped.

"You are so lucky I will find your answers severely funny and not kill you." Tris giggled again but didn't lose control like last time. I complained for a while longer until Lynn threatened to pinch me if I didn't answer already.

"Fine! I'll answer. I'd marry Natalie, bed Tori and kill Jeanine." I covered my head then cautiously peeked out. Everyone was of course laughing their asses off. I rolled my eyes.

"Peter I don't think you've gone in a while." Peter looked up, frightened, I smirked. "Hmmmm let's see. Since I am not a total A-hole how about I do this too you! Miley Cyrus, 2013, um... Justin Beaver? Is that that person's name?" I pondered. Marlene looked mad.

"OMG IT'S JUSTIN BIEBER!" She exclaimed like a early 2000s girl.

"Seriously? He has been dead for like 500 years and you are his fan? And I have done loads of research on him and he was a major dick cheese." Lynn said giving Marlene a, really Mar Mar? Really? Marlene scowled and ignored her.

"Okayyyy..." I say and turn back to Peter. "So Miley Cyrus, 2013, Justin **Bieber **and hmmmm Kim Kardashian." I grinned evilly.

"You said you weren't a major A-hole!" Peter groaned. I shook my head.

"I lie." I told him smirking. Peter buried his head in the carpet.

"OOOO! I have an idea! How about if you take more than a minute you have to give your reasoning why you chose who for what!" Uriah said jumping up and down. Evil grins passed around the room. Peter went bright red. I pulled out my watch.

"You have 30 seconds left." I tell him and he groans.

Peter finally mutters. "Bed JB, marry Kim and kill Miley."

"What was that come again?" Uriah said, acting like a prick per usual. Peter smacked him.

"Do you really want me to make it your turn?" He asked giving him a glare. Uriah scooted a little farther away from the angry Peter.

"Uriah if you want to live, why do you keep acting like a butt munch?" Lauren asked smacking her gum. _When did she get gum?_ I wondered to myself.

"When did you get gum?" Will asked. Lauren shrugged.

"I had a pack in my pocket." Everyone crowed around her.

"I WANNA PIECE!"

"OOOO ME TOO!"

"GIVE ME ONE FIRST!"

"DON'T GIVE HIM THE LAST PIECE GIVE ME THE LAST PIECE!"

"THAT WASN'T THE LAST PIECE SHE HAS MORE!"

"REALLY? GIVE ME ONE!"

"YOU'VE ALREADY GOT ONE!"

"I THINK URIAH HAS 3!"

"GET URIAH!"

I sat watching the chaos that everyone, except me, was going through for a piece of gum. When they finally broke apart. Lauren tossed me the rest of the pack which still had 5 pieces.

"HEY!" Marlene complained.

"He waited patiently. Unlike you guys who swarmed me." Lauren said calmly. She examined her nails one of which had chipped during the fiasco.

"Can we move on?" Will asked smacking his own gum. We all nodded in agreement and turned our attention to Peter.

"How about we go with..." Peter scanned the room. His eyes landed on Eric. "Eric! Your choices for this evening are, Shauna, Tris, Christina!" Peter laughed his usual sinister laugh.

"You just gave me the girls with the most protective boyfriend's didn't you?" Eric asked arching an eyebrow. Peter nodded and continued laughing.

"You've got 50 seconds man. Get moving." Uriah said. Christina had gotten hold of her shoes again and pitched one at him. "HEY!" Lynn shut him up with a glare.

40 seconds later Eric still hadn't made a choice. "Dude you have 10 seconds left." Zeke pointed out. Eric turned red. After 10 more seconds he still hadn't answered.

"YOU GOTTA GIVE YOUR REASONS! HA HA HA HAHA!" Lynn exclaimed giggling like a 5 year old. She got weird looks. She just looked us and raised her eyebrows. "What?"

Eric finally gave his answer. "I pick wed Shauna, bed Christina and kill Tris." Eric said softly.

"Whyy?" Uriah prodded and got a glare from Eric but no one else. They just gave him approving nods.

"I picked bed Christina because she is easily the hottest out of all of them. I picked wed Shauna because she hates me the least and kill Tris because she is scary." Eric grabbed a pillow and buried his face into it.

Tris cracked up. "Me... me scary? I scare the ALMIGHTY ERIC?!" Tris rolled on the floor like it was the joke of the century.

I was fairly certain that Eric was bright red behind his pillow. Christina and will looked irked along with Zeke. Everyone else found it extremely funny.

"Shuddup!" Eric said muffled by his pillow of protection. That just made it worse. Christina began to laugh along with Will and Zeke. In the end we were finally interrupted by a knock at the door.

**OOO CLIFFY! I swear I'll update more. Maybe not tomorrow and maybe not the day after that but in the next 3 days expect an update. I am sooo sorry for not updating sooner but I got lazy... Also PLZ CHECK OUT MY STORY DEFIANT!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for neglecting you guys! I swear I'll update once a week at least! I will make a definite schedule for this soon. Review what day you want me to update every week and I'll do it! Your choices are**

**Monday  
Wednesday  
Saturday**

**Kay those are my free days.**

**Tris' POV**

We are interrupted by a knocking at the door. We all fall silent.

"Who is it?" Uriah calls. No answer

"Who is it?" Uriah asks in a very girly voice.

"WHO IS IT?!" Uriah yells getting mad. They weren't saying anything. Finally he went over and opened the door and just what no one expect. An Amity boy.

"ROBERT?!" I yell and jump up. Everyone stares at me. I run over and give him a hug.

"Hello Beatrice." Robert says with a wide grin. I laugh.

"It's Tris now! How have you been? Enjoying Amity?" I ask quickly and then notice everyone is staring at me. "Guys this is Robert. We grew up together in Abnegation."

"Cool! Wanna join us for bed, wed or dead?" Uriah asks wearing an evil grin. Robert shrugs.

"I came here to say hello. Why not stay and hang out for a bit." Robert answers and we walk into. I sit down on Tobias' lap and Robert stares at me.

"You got a boyfriend?" He asks me and then turns to Tobias. "Wow every girl I ask out runs away. You are lucky dude." Robert laughs good naturedly and Tobias cracks a grin. I feel him put his arms around my waist.

"I am aren't I." Tobias says in my ear. I blush a bit.

"Can we move this game along. I'm bored." Lynn states and we turn towards Eric.

"It is your turn. I can't believe to you I'm scary." I laugh and Eric turns pink again.

"Okay. New guy." Eric says.

"Robert."

"Robbie, whatever. Your choices are Four, Peter, Uriah." Eric said and Robert just looked confused.

"He doesn't know who we are!" Marlene said as if just realizing this. "I am Marlene."

"Uriah." Uriah flashes a grin. A grin that had mischief written all over it.

"Zeke." Zeke gave a more sinister grin that made Robert scrim.

"Four."

"Lynn." Lynn looked absolutely bored out or her mind.

"Eric." Eric waves a little.

"Peter. The coolest one." Peter smirks.

"Al." Silence from everyone. Me glaring at him along with pretty much everyone else. He should just leave but we kept him here to torture him when it was his turn.

"Shauna. Want a piece of gum." Shauna pulled out another pack and offered him a piece.

"Lauren. Who wants a second piece of gum." Lauren stared at the pack and Shauna put it away.

"Okay... I'm Robert...nice to meet you. Eric, I think, all those people are guys ya know..." Robert shifted uncomfortably.

"Oh we need to explain our rules. If you take more than a minute you have to give your reasoning why. And it's been more than a minute so HA you need to give your reasoning behind your choices!" Zeke said happily. The color drained from Robert's face.

Okay then. Um wed Uriah, bed Four and kill Peter." Robert still looked drained of color and mildly confused.

"Why?" Marlene added with a silly grin.

"Um because Uriah looked the most friendly and Four and Peter at random..." Robert mumbled.

"Kay that works for me!" Uriah said with a grin. "At least I wasn't killed for once."

"Why am I always picked for bed! Seriously this is what the trillionth time?" Tobias complained.

"Well everyone knows you are the sexiest person here!" Peter says with extremely fake admiration and fangirly sighs. He even bats his eyelashes.

We all crack up and Peter keeps of the facade.

"So perfect and wonderful *wistful sigh* so gorgeous and sexy!" Peter adds. Uriah lost it. He fell off the sofa where he had begun sitting. Lauren had tears running down her face.

"I know why people keep picking him for bed. So unbelievably... *another girly sigh* He's just so wonderous!" Peter does and over dramatized faint.

Robert finally joins in. Almost fitting in. An Amity hanging out and laughing with a heard of rowdy Dauntless. When we finally pull it together Peter adds one more thing for good measure.

"He is the most beautiful person in the world!" Peter says with a high pitched girly voice and we lose it again.

"Dude..." Uriah gasped. "Dude that was..." He gasped again. "HILARIOUS!" Uriah burst out laughing again.

**And break. Sorry so short. I am so sorry for not updating sooner XD good luck to you people who actually read this...**


	6. Chapter 6 (Sorry I haven't updated)

**I have a legit excuse for not updating. 1 I have like twenty other things I am working on, 2 I reread all the PJO books and HoO books, then reread the Divergent Trilogy. And OH MY FUCKING GOD THE FUCKING ENDING! I FUCKING BROKE DOWN IN GOD DAMN TEARS DAMN IT VERONICA ROTH NEEDS A TIME OUT! Sorry I haven't updated I still love you guys! Also if you guys give me 100 review I will update. If not expect it at... god knows when. **

**Tris' POV**

After we all calm down from Peter's wistful fangirllyness that quite resembles the QueenOfStalkers sometimes we all give our attention back to Robert.

"Well dude you gotta choose someone and name 3 peoples." Uriah gestures around the room. Lynn had taken off her shoe and was popping her toes, Marlene was examining her finger nails then filing them in an endless loop, Lauren and Shauna were tugging on opposite sides of a pack of gum.

"GIVE ME SOME GUM!" Lauren cried.

"NEVER! IT IS MY GUM!" Shauna yelled in return.

Uriah sat staring at Robert intently waiting for his answers, Zeke was staring at the fighting girls with a look in his eyes that wasn't very appropriate, Eric was twisting one of his piercings back and forth, Four was playing with my hair twisting it in what felt like a braid, and Al was staring at me, Christina and Will were devising some kind of shoe attack. Not surprising.. To Robert it had to of been one of the oddest sights he has ever seen. For me it wasn't very strange as I see Lynn popping her toes all the time. Christina and Will were always plotting something, Tobias liked to play with my hair, Marlene always took pride in her nails, Zeke was more often than not a perv and Shauna and Lauren tended to bicker. And Al stared at me a lot, it didn't make me feel uncomfortable but more like I wanted to rip his head off with every glance.

"Umm okay, er. Tris, your choices are Four, Al and me." Robert says. He looks more confused than evil.

"Easy with who to kill Al of course! Now I'd probably wed you since it'd be less weird and bed Four." I say not really having to think.

"That was fast." Tobias said I could hear his scowl.

"Well it'd be less weird to marry my old friend from Abnegation than to sleep with him. Besides you are hot, Peter said so himself." I say grinning like a mad woman.

"Yeah I am pretty damn gorgeous, aren't I?" I could then hear the smirk in his voice.

"Okay since it is my turn lets go with Chrissy!" I smile broadly and she chucks a balled up sock at me. It smells terrible, definitely one of Uriah's old socks.

"Don't call me Chrissy!" Christina shouts.

"Fine! As long as you promise not to throw Uri's old socks at my face!"

"How did you know it was my sock?" Uriah questions.

"Well one the smell and at further examination I saw it had pictures of poptarts on them. You are the only Dauntless who'd be caught dead wearing them." I say.

"Wait you can recognize my fink?" Uriah asks.

"What the heck is _fink_?" Lynn asks she had finished popping her toes and was now trying to pop her ankle. She'd then probably move up to try and pop her knees then her hips, then her back, the her shoulders, then her fingers, then her neck and finally her nose.

"FOOT STINK!" Uriah exclaimed like a little kid. Lynn rolls her eyes and pops her back. POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! I shuddered at the noise.

"Moving along." Marlene prompted. Shauna and Lauren had ripped the pack of gum and had divided it equally among the two of them.

"Okay Christina, your choices are Uriah, Peter and..." I think for a moment. "I know! Let's say Jack Kang." I smile viciously. It took me a bit to remember who the Candor faction leader was but it payed off because Christina wrinkled her nose.

"Dude you suck." She muttered. "And I really wanted to kill Uriah..." She sighed and paused. At exactly a minute Zeke yelled.

"NOW YOU MUST EXPLAIN WHY YOU CHOSE SAID PEOPLE FOR SAID DUTIES!"

at which Uriah giggled "That sounded like doody.. heh heh."

"Fuck you Tris. Fine wed Peter, bed Uriah and kill Jack. I am killing Jack because he is like 50, marrying Peter because he doesn't need an even bigger head and bedding Uriah since he is the most bearable out of all of them. Also it helps his case that he is a bit attractive." Christina looks down sighing.

"I am not a BIT attractive! I am full blown sexiness! Like up there with Four!" Uriah stands up and strikes a pose for everyone to see. Christina throws a shoe at him and Lynn gets up picks him up and throws him onto the couch. Then she sits back down and grabs her nose. She begins moving it and finally she pops it.

"DID SHE JUST POP HER NOSE?!" Robert yelped.

Lynn smiled. "Yup I broke it when I was 5 been able to do that since!"

"That is just weird..." Robert trails off.

Christina scans the room looking for a victim. "Ah ha! I know Four your turn! Your choices are Zeke, Tris and... Will." Christina smiles and Will gives her a what the fuck look.

"Well um... I'd marry Tris... or wait should I bed her... ah Christina you suck! 2 guys and my girlfriend? WTF!" Tobias put his forehead against my back.

"I'd hurry up and choose dude. You only have 27... 26... 25...24..." Zeke stares at his watch.

"Knock it off with the count down why don't ya?!" Tobias snaps. Zeke finishes his count down and Tobias still hasn't picked yet.

"Now you have to say whyyyyy you chose it!" Zeke added in for good measure.

"I know I was there when we made the rule too you know!" Tobias hesitates for one final moment' "I'd bed Tris, marry Zeke and kill Will. I've known Zeke the longest and it'd be just wrong to bed him. I bedded Tris because bedding Will would be wrong and she is my girlfriend I can't kill her." I nodded approving of his choices. "Now... it is my turn to choose someones fate... heh heh heh... Shauna your choices are..."

**OOOOO CLIFFY! Seriously at 100 I'll update**


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